that is not a twixt bar...and other equally unfortunate tales.

I have several Amazing and utterly alternate reality stories to share with you. But due to laziness I will share only one. THE title has deceived you! ahahhah....eh? what else is new? When I have I ever accurately described an event???? don't answer that.

I blame the following event entirely on Izette. Yes I have named her. and for further identification look at the photo below.

Don't let the prettieness fool you....she is a havoc maker. The best kind of havoc maker....the deceivingly nice kind. BEWARE.

What happen you ask?

EAR Plugs in my mouth happened. Let's review.


I was dreaming innocently, when in my dream a very angry and irate Iz, refused to take my twixt candy bar, that I probably had shed blood and tears to earn. I remember the rejection and the self esteem blow as Izette took the bar and angrily placed it on the ground. (yeah... angrily placed. wow. she is vicious). I looked sadly at the discarded gooey goodness and crossed my arms at Izette's determined steps away from me. I felt like I was abandoned in a vast desert, only tumble weeds and howling wind to console my crushed ego.

So I naturally did the only thing I could think of that would make IZ feel my acute pain. I snatched up the candy bar and ate it. 


What happened next can only be described as both disgusting and mind-boggling. 

Upon putting the candy bar in my mouth I noted that my dream twixt was very un-twixt like. No gooey chocolate but a squishy texture that make sucking noises in my teeth. No caramel filling but a distinct taste of...what was that...oh ear wax.

these are not candy...

This is the moment I awoke to the horrifying truth. What I was chewing on was not a delightful twixt bar....but a runaway ear plug that had fallen out sometime during the course of my flailing about. AN EARPLUG and not a clean one!





I had grabbed the ear plug and put it in my mouth and was "NOMMING" on it. I instantly spit out the offending plug and ran to the bathroom where I gagged and brushed my teeth until the ear wax taste wasn't as offensive....


YES I could have died! the headline reading: SLEEPWALKER CHOKES ON AN EARPLUG

Again I blame IZ...had she only eaten my twixt I wouldn't have found my mouth full of ear wax....so unfortunate.