the death of a dino.

Breaking. It's a quiet thing.
swept into a sea of empty.


I feel like this blog at times resorts to gimmicks, and though I truly enjoy supplying everyone with lovely gifs and what I deem worthy anecdotes. Sometimes. I want to be serious with you.

I can't say that this post isn't a reflection or response to events of my life, because that would a complete denial of the truth.  And why not tell you a little bit of the truth? I believe I am in a minority on a certain view. Which is sad.
 How I view friendship. That's what I will write about today.

I think and believe Friends are forever.(I saw you roll your eyes!) Which seems to be an illogical assumption living in a climate like Korea where nothing is stable. I am the child who when she gave a friendship bracelet REALLY and truly believed in it. Seems to the cynical world a little like a fairytale. That we are crossing our fingers and wishing on some friendship star. And at times I feel the same.

Because sometimes you make friends out of pure need. I've done it. Sometimes you have to for the sake of your own sanity break or limit the time spent with certain people.  And when I encounter this....I feel so utterly WRONG. Even when I know a relationship is unhealthy, I cling.

So am I only wishing for something that is impossible?
no. We are made to be in relationship with one another. I view fights as fights but not endings. Problems can be worked through. I think that so many of the people I encounter have a different perspective. If we fight it's over? They seem to genuinely believe this. It's so different than how I operate.

I have a best friend. She is lovely. Even though I sometimes misuse her, she is my best friend for a reason. It's mutual, or we try our best to be. but even sometimes I take too much because I'm imperfect and at my core selfish.

I'm rambling all this off because I have some free time and this is actually an old and unfinished post.
So if you happen to think I'm talking about you. Silly billy. I probably am. lol. just kidding.

An unexpected Visitor....Meet Frank.

I called him "Frank"...this does not under any circumstances make him a pet. He was a plague, a disease,  an affliction, a personal tormentor, a living abomination,  much more than a nuisance, a symbol of the fall, and a nightmare inducer.

He was a huge, ninja-quick, Cockroach that I surrendered my kitchen to sometime last summer.


When I tell this story I expect you have your judgement prepared. That you think me a baby, a wimp, a pansy, and that I am wildly exaggerating the events that took place. To you I say calmly, "WHERE YOU THERE?! DID YOU WITNESS THE LIVING MOTHRA THAT ROAMED MY KITCHEN ! "

again....for the uncultured...


and No I know Mothra is not a cockroach, blog jerk...but if frank had a cousin! it would be him.

To CLARIFY FRANK is a cockroach....not a pet and not a moth.

ACT 1: THE DISCOVERY!
I walked in my kitchen on a typical night switched on the the light and saw something that made me do a double roundhouse flip out of my kitchen
. I slid the door shut with a firm slam, turned the light off again from the outside ( I was thinking "HIDE HIDE!")and DESPERATELY dialed my friends number. I think my phone has imprints from my abuse!
ME(screaming): MEAGAN!!!!!
Meagan: Faithy why are you breathing funny?
Me(cowering in the corner): Meagan there is the mother of all cockroaches on my kitchen cabinet!
Meagan: Faithy can you see him now?
Me(peaking through the glass door to get a visual): Nooo.....Meagan I'm scared.
Meagan(as talking to a child): Faithy you need to get a shoe.
Me (IN COMPLETE TERROR, mind spinning ): What do I do with this shoe??
Meagan: ....
Me: MEAGAN HE IS REALLY BIG! AND SCARY. HE MAY EAT ME!!!
Meagan(trying not to laugh): I know it is terrifying.
Me: Ok...ok...I'm going in.
I slowly opened the door to discover....NOTHING! Frank had vanished. I cautiously placed a toe in the kitchen...The phone was still adhered to my ear.
Meagan(alarmed at my silence): Faithy...
Me: He's not there.
Meagan: Aww good maybe he ran away...

IF ONLY.
I sighed and locked my kitchen after being talked down from searching for the invader.

Act 2: the HUNT "DEAR FRANK. Leave my apartment and die. love, faith."-facebook update

The first thing I did was CLEAN my entire kitchen. I mean dishes everywhere, and bleach. lots of bleach. I stocked up on traps. I prepared myself for war.

Frank would appear a the top of my cabinets finding himself a cozy crack to make a house. Sticking his antennae out in mockery of me.
I felt his pride. His joy in ruining the life of a civilian unaccustomed to fighting off monsters.
I couldn't reach him. I could only put traps and bait and wait. Oh the waiting....
There would be days when it seemed to be successful and then I would see him again. dashing under the microwave or slinking into the sink drain.

During this time...where I cooked and finished my meals quickly and throwing a white flag to FRANK to claim my apartment I posted updates on the turf war that consumed my life.

"Beyond frustrated....Frank must be a super bug  and you are probably just as annoyed as I am that this subject is still my status content. He moves to fast to kill and traps and raid doesn't work...good gravy. I'm at my wits end."

These statuses consumed my facebook for more than 2 weeks!
Causing many of you to CRY "USE A SLIPPER!"
 to which I responded...."NO REALLY?? and what happens when he takes my slipper and beats me with it!?" SERIOUSLY...no one had any idea what I was dealing with.

Frank was too FAST, TOO BIG FOR TRAPS....in fact my parents sent me traps to catch him with, and TOO SMART for bait...yeah. he was special. maybe governmental engineered. a tracking device for foreigners.

ACT 3: THE MADNESS ENDS- "Just sprayed bleach in Franks face."

When I finally had enough. I ended it. Frank decided to mock me once more and I took aim with a bleach bottle. Twice I hit him with the burning substance. He recoiled into his home. He had acquired 2 now. one at each end of the cabinet. It was like a very disgusting game of WACK A MOLE.




Again he went missing. And I watched with vigilance  Until Ina discovered him in the crack of my door  separating Frank from my living area and my bed.

Ina did what I was unable to do. And smashed him to pieces with her slipper. Now..Frank was barely moving, but I, having the fear of God set upon me dared not touch him.

I have seen no other Cockroach...but my fear has kept me alert and watchful.  Who knows what evil lurks in my kitchen, waiting to scare the living daily lights out of me.


Meet Frank...this is not him...but a much smaller version...the interwebs disappoint again.

I almost vomited in my search for a FRANK twin..
.and then had to be hospitalized for a period of time.

Someone had to make this...that someone was me.

Call Me "BOMB." And for the laymen...that means "joy"

"Teachah." I stare at the 1st year student who just waltzed into my summer camp. Literally waltzed, that is not a metaphor. I'm not being flowery. She spun and danced. 

"Yes?" 

"Call me Bomb" The 1st year student taps her chest proudly. "Bomb Teachah Bomb"

"Bomb?" I size the student up. She does not look like she is going to explode....but one can never be too sure. Her big smile with no hint of mischievous intent, her eyes framed by long thin glasses and her short black hair.

"BOMMMMB." she confirms with a nod of her head.

"Ok...why?" I cannot resist the question.

Bomb folds her hands across her chest and does her best to explain. "You know the Nut that falls from the tree?"

"err..."

"Nut from tree and Bomb." She puts her two hands together and makes a motion I'm all too familiar with. "Same."

"Chestnut?" I raise my eyebrows.

Bomb hops up on one leg and puts both hands in the air. "yeahhh teachah. I'm chestnut!"

Over the next few weeks Bomb quickly becomes my favorite student. Full of life and imagination, she runs into my Summer camp classroom and tries unsuccessfully to explain the story line to her favorite drama.  Her excitement makes me unable to stifle her. 

"Teachah....today....errr....yeaaaahhh....kiss." Bomb's eyes light up in excitement and she puts her two hands together to clap and bounces with gleeful embarrassment at the word "kiss".

"Oh really?" I say in mock surprise. 

"Yeaaaah teachah. Yeaaahh." Her face bubbles over with joy and she puts both of her hands over her eyes and giggles. 

I quickly discover "Yeaaah" is Bomb's favorite word.  Everything she tells me from the new glasses her sister bought her "Teachah my sister...Yeaaaah...bought them for me....yeaaaahh...good sister....yeaaahh." to her woes over spending time studying " Teachah....I study all weekend....yeaaahhh..." are full of the word.

 It is said as if she is a surfer, catching the perfect wave on a California beach. It's a lovely trait that I cannot help but smile at. 

She is a special student. Smart, and kind. 

She is the one student who no matter when she sees me it is like she has seen a present on Christmas morning. She bounds up to me, waves her hand and grabs mine.  She is the one who stands at the bottom of the stairs when she sees me at the top. Her smile practically wraps around her face as she shapes her hands into a heart at me and wiggles wildly.

To which I respond, "I love you too."

These words transform my lovely student into a lovelier ray of sunshine. Literally light pouring from her face, as she says uncertainly "Really?"

I nod and say "Of course."

Bomb jumps up and down and points to herself. "ME too. yeaaaaahhhh me too. you love...ooooooo" She spins around. 

I don't know why the word "Bomb" means chestnut in Korean. I think if I could change the definition I would. Joy is an appropriate word here. In fact, when choosing English names it is the name that "Bomb" unknowingly selected from my name box. Her spirit is one of those that I want to remain intact and untouched by the trials she will inevitably face as being a student in a rigid education system. 

She is one student I regret not staying for. I think about leaving her and know I will cry, because her heart is so beautiful.  

"Bomb" does not mean chestnut to me. It means "Joy" pure, lovely, giggling Joy.

"Bomb"

And in other news a Dolphin chewed on a small child...

You probably should rush over, read that article and skip this post entirely. NO wait don't go!!!
VALIDATE ME!!!

I think for the most part this blog comes off as a jovial poke at the strange land of kpop and kimichi...and psy....make it stop.

I intend to make you laugh. however. I have these reflective moments and you are now going to be on the receiving end. 

I came to Korea because I thought God told me to go. It's been this hard rocky thing I've done. I have moments where I literally think my sanity has left me. Where I feel like Rage faces are my only relief.

There is this mysterious idea called "culture shock." it is indeed a strange undefinable beast.
( I've talked to people recently who believe they haven't experienced it in Korea. and to you. I kindly say..false! or maybe you're a super high value of humanness.)
I will raise my hand! I experienced it.

And through that God has been so FAITHFUL. and has blessed this woman who ignores her creator so much of the time. I mean if you were to transcribe my thoughts you would be stunned...and alarmed. Maybe you'd ask..."How can she think of robot bunnies that much?"

But the truth is that God loves me. He gives me things I ask for even if I don't deserve them. And weird things too. Like answering a prayer to meet a j-pop idol to rescuing me from my bathroom. God is faithful. When I'm faithless. So what does that mean?

It means that instead of assuming that disaster is about to befall me and running away screaming.
I should assume that God has it under control.  I should assume that my prayers are effective  that God hears them, and answers them.

Then it follows... if my prayer to meet the idol could change into a prayer for his salvation, if my prayer to make it through the day could change into a prayer to demonstrate Christ. I might be surprised at the results.

These thoughts aren't funny. sorry. but that dolphin story is still available....should you need it.