that is not a twixt bar...and other equally unfortunate tales.

I have several Amazing and utterly alternate reality stories to share with you. But due to laziness I will share only one. THE title has deceived you! ahahhah....eh? what else is new? When I have I ever accurately described an event???? don't answer that.

I blame the following event entirely on Izette. Yes I have named her. and for further identification look at the photo below.

Don't let the prettieness fool you....she is a havoc maker. The best kind of havoc maker....the deceivingly nice kind. BEWARE.

What happen you ask?

EAR Plugs in my mouth happened. Let's review.


I was dreaming innocently, when in my dream a very angry and irate Iz, refused to take my twixt candy bar, that I probably had shed blood and tears to earn. I remember the rejection and the self esteem blow as Izette took the bar and angrily placed it on the ground. (yeah... angrily placed. wow. she is vicious). I looked sadly at the discarded gooey goodness and crossed my arms at Izette's determined steps away from me. I felt like I was abandoned in a vast desert, only tumble weeds and howling wind to console my crushed ego.

So I naturally did the only thing I could think of that would make IZ feel my acute pain. I snatched up the candy bar and ate it. 


What happened next can only be described as both disgusting and mind-boggling. 

Upon putting the candy bar in my mouth I noted that my dream twixt was very un-twixt like. No gooey chocolate but a squishy texture that make sucking noises in my teeth. No caramel filling but a distinct taste of...what was that...oh ear wax.

these are not candy...

This is the moment I awoke to the horrifying truth. What I was chewing on was not a delightful twixt bar....but a runaway ear plug that had fallen out sometime during the course of my flailing about. AN EARPLUG and not a clean one!





I had grabbed the ear plug and put it in my mouth and was "NOMMING" on it. I instantly spit out the offending plug and ran to the bathroom where I gagged and brushed my teeth until the ear wax taste wasn't as offensive....


YES I could have died! the headline reading: SLEEPWALKER CHOKES ON AN EARPLUG

Again I blame IZ...had she only eaten my twixt I wouldn't have found my mouth full of ear wax....so unfortunate. 

IT'S 2013...And me the Mope---er

in other news my favorite actor  performed "GUNDAM STYLE" ON LIVE TV....UNACCEPTABLE.

Yeah so...While everyone was updating their facebooks and blogs with end of the year madness, meanwhile I preferred to think I was still in 2012. or actually in a continuous space where the year just spreads out like a long road. sounds...a bit like groundhogs day?


again for you uncultured souls....tsk tsk.

Why you ask? oh the laundry list is exhaustive. not really. I'm personally and profoundly in hate with New Years. I have never once cared about that ball and the droppage and the whole hoopla.  This has to do with the fact that I find it a nostalgic time which makes me wander around, arms dragging on the floor as a complete and utter MOPE ----R. Which is a word...apparently...there is no red underline..

I have given into the cat apocalypse....

To be honest. 2012 was a very difficult year for me.  One of the hardest I have ever experienced. Thankfully, God has been present or I might have jumped off a bridge. (you may take that literally, figuratively, with pb and j....whatever...hmmmmm peanut butter and jelly....peanut butter jelly....peanut butter jelly and baseball bat...)

But what am I truly THANKFUL for? God. A God who cares about my wakings and sleepings(yes that is not a word), and my sleepwalkings...etc.  Talking about faith may not appeal to the masses. but God is present.  I don't have a new years resolution....I have a prayer though. That all my friends, and family (and yes even my jpop celebs) would know God's love this year. 

I realize too as of the time it took me to write this and now that while I had a hard year so many other lovelies in my life have too, or are entering a hard situation. I  cannot say it enough. but the only thing we can do is rest in God's faithfulness. He is faithful. Even when we spin wildly out of control he has it in control. What a good thing to know.

To commemorate and feel the hopelessness of humanity's taste in dance I have made the following gif.