The Great Escape-or how I locked myself inside my bathroom and managed to annoy the whole neighborhood with my wobbly wails.

So this has to be the most epic and embarrassing moment I've yet to have in K-town and what better use of my free hour than to blog about it. 

Yesterday: 9:00pm. 

"Mom," I said. "I'll call you back." It was shower time. I went into my small Korean bath, and shut the door, and from here on out everything went wrong. 

10:00 pm

I did my thing and had turned the bathroom into a veritable sauna by the time I finished. I put my hand on the handle and turned. Nothing happened. Now my door has been sticking as of late and so I thought that it needed some jarring. I turned and pushed, and the door stayed in it's place. I narrowed my eyes and tried once more. Replay of the the previous scene. 

I put my hands on my hips and considered my options. I could start yelling, and wake up everyone in the vicinity (there are no English speakers in my apart.), or I could try to escape. 

At first the challenge seemed exciting. I thought "no problem, I got this." I scanned my bathroom for something that would be the key to freedom. I found pliers. YES now we were talking. 

I attempted to unscrew the handle and when this failed I felt a little frustrated but sure I could get out. For the next 40 minutes I pulled, twisted, and wiggled the handle in every way I thought possible. When all my attempts ended with me sweating and angry. I opened my small window, to breathe. Like I said it was a SAUNA.  maybe if the steam leaves the door will shrink and open...

What a laugh that was. After waiting a while I sprayed the handle with some cosmetic grease, and managed with exhausting groans to get one screw out of the handle. I turned the handle once more and it seemed to be   finally doing it's job. Or so I thought.....until the handle found itself in my hand and unattached to the door.  

At this moment my panic kicked in. I was alone. in my apart. in ASIA. I didn't have a phone. I looked at the window trying to gauge weather I could squeeze through the porthole opening...That was NOT happening.

Images of newspaper clippings and websites with the headline "foreigner dies after days trapped in bathroom" filled my thoughts. I also thought....When I don't show up to school my co teacher will kill me.

So in anger and an attempt to draw attention I slammed my fist against the door. I hit it, and and hit it again. I have a bruised palm to prove my rage. I saw the door as my enemy, my foe, worthy of a death. I rattled and created such a commotion that the woman below me stepped outside and looked up.

"Help me!" I cried in mangled Korean. 

"WHAT?" the woman responded, which sounded incredibly rude in Korean. "MWO?????!"

"TWA-juesayo!" I yelled (help).

"MWO?!!!" was the response....really did I need the attitude?

"TWWWWWWWWA-juesayo!" 

"What do you want Woman?!" was the response in korean. haha. really? REALLY?

The yelling woke up the neighbors across the way who also yelled "MWO?!!!"

"I can't open it! My door....no open...broken." was my cry.

After repeating the request for help and asking them to call 119, in korean that is 911. The neighbors finally understood. 

And I heard moving next door. 

"Password?" A Korean man asked through a small window nearby. I told him twice and heard him successfully enter my apartment. 

He messed with the handle for awhile and left a few moments later. The next 45 minutes involved 3 korean men, and the landlady's attempts to free the frightened foreigner. Broken English was used as an attempt to get me to help from my side, "stick, push, no..pushy...pull....stick." You are probably just as clueless as I was.

Finally, I heard a pounding of a sledge hammer. YES A SLEDGE HAMMER.....The inside of the door quaked and I backed myself into a corner. The lock had to be KNOCKED through the door, resulting in a large hole.

"Come out" they called and I slowly opened the door. 

The scene was the following...3 men, two under 30 and an older gentleman, starring at me in my towel that is far to short to cover me in any short of decency. I mean in Korea they cover shoulders! and here is my foreigner self, chubby, white and almost naked coming out of my shower. 

I stood in the door for a moment and the old man looked at me and said in Korean.

"Come out little fool."  really? was that necessary!?

I gulped and came out. 

I thought they are going to leave and I can get dressed. HA NOPE. 

Another 10 minutes went by where the men discussed the problem, while I awkwardly stood in my towel. The hallway door was also OPEN.

At one point a phone was handed to me, and my Co-teacher on the other end. She was laughing.

AND THE MEN WERE STILL THERE. I was still in my towel.

I talked to her and hung up. but through some confusion a second phone call was made.  

another 5 minutes on the phone in my TOWEL. 

Finally the men exited and I was allowed to put on clothes. 

The moral of the story: 1. never shut the bathroom door. 

2. Bring a phone with you when you pee. 

Dear God, I'm thankful for the towel.