Ktown sisters.

This is a post about my Ktown Sisters. Meet Hwa Jung and So Young. They are both beautiful  intelligent, sassy Korean women who I spent the previous year working alongside. Not English teachers mind you. Ethics and Math are what they teach the kiddies.

Recently I found myself once again staring across a coffee table listening to my two Unnies(sister in korea) tell a story in Korean. I don't understand a whole lot but I didn't mind. There is something wonderful about sitting there, hearing them laugh and catch up.

And while I sat there I thought back on the previous years Shinangians. Yes that is what I called it.
So Young, is notoriously sassy. Whenever lunch time would begin everyone was leaning in to hear her words. Hwa Jung was the counter balance. And together they decided to adopt me.

Our conversations would take strange patterns. For example:

So Young feigns a whisper: Hwa Jung is Miss Korea.
'Who the heck is 'Miss Korea?' I wonder but play along: Oh?
So Young: Very skinny. VERY skinny. (So Young gestures to all of her friend. drawing a straight line up and down...Thank you Vanna very flattering)
 ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. yes. (I nod vehemently)
So Young: But she never wear dress.
(This is curious information indeed): Why not?
So Young leans towards me and whispers intensely: DRAGON TATTOO
Still clueless.: She has one?
So Young motions across her throat with a pretend knife: Gangsta Gangsta.
I narrow my eyes and size up the potential danger: Oh....Hwa Jung are you a gangsta?
Hwa Jung comes far too close and grabs my arm: Follow me.
I stretch back on my heels and arch an eyebrow: where?
Hwa Jung laughs darkly: To the bathroom....
I  let my head wobble my answer: errr...No....thank you.



So Young has done more for me than many in Korea. Her kindness and willingness to help me has made it easier to be so far from home.  She invited me with no questions into her friends, told me schedule changes, and found me rides to work events. So Young is NOT fluent. but as she has told me before gestures can fill in the gasps...and of course an English-korean dictionary.

So Young told me over dinner that "We are not friends, we are family."
My lovely sister is getting married on Sunday. What a wonderful way to spend my last weekend in K-town. She has made me promise to tell her when my "mister Big (she is obsessed with Sex and the City)" comes along. She is determined to see me off and wedded. To the right man of course.

Many times my "sister" has explained that she will only allow such a thing once she has examined him thoroughly.  So Young  expressed this idea by placing a cup on a counter and searching it's surface for imperfections.  I tell you....poor guy. He might have a hard time earning her approval, and that's ok by me.

solid...merrh loch-ness monster.

If you a doctor and you see the loch ness monster you are CRAZY. Apparently. Even though you have a degree and years of study to make your sighting reputable, the instant "I saw a dinosaur carrying a sheep across the road," comes out of your mouth you are a wack-a moley-job.(and by this I mean insane)

Why am I talking about Lochness monsters? Other than the fact I am a believer in Nessie-pooh, I was reminded of something a friend said to me recently.

But lets go back to the idea of being "solid."  (it's in the title! read it) dictionary.com says "Solid" means: "reliable or sensible; upstanding"

Korea is transitional. It can be a prefect place to run away, or hide. To be whoever you want to be, or to find out that you were in fact confused on who that person was to begin with. You change, you change friends, you change and you change friends again. Every week it seems like someone is boarding a plane, getting on a boat, or jumping ship.

Then are the phone calls, the emails from home, the facebook statues, and the blog updates. All shouting the same thing to you: SOMETHING HAPPENED without you. Whatever it was, something bad, or good or just plain different has happened WITHOUT you. THE POINT IS You weren't there. The experience is not a shared one.

Living away does something, making being "solid" impossible. There are times when I feel I am in a bowl of moving jelly, and not the tasty kind. Where emotions move like waves and I'm literally that girl who cannot decide if she's happy or sad.  Glad that I'm here or disappointed that I missed something at home.

So what does this have to do with loch-ness? My friend said, "no one's 'solid' we're all grasping with claws saying 'merrrrhhhh(HELP ME!)'" (and then she gestured like she was a soupy version of a swimming dinosaur)

And you know what? That's me. I am a soupy loch ness monster. Korea's a struggle and the "me" here is not the normal "me." I haven't done everything I could normally do but I've done what I can. And you what? THAT IS OK. Sometimes you can't be everything, you can't go everywhere, and you can't please everyone.
and that's okay too! Being 'Solid' sounds good, but sometimes you realize that you're broken and that you're mushy. yeah. mushy. And you need time.

Wow. This post has gotten entirely away from me. A product of letting my mind run straight through my fingertips and onto the keyboard.
MERRRH

Realization!

I always have these deep thoughts but when it comes time to write them down, I draw a complete blank. It's like someone has pushed the pause button on my brain and I can't un-press it. a rather unfortunate condition.

I have recently felt validated tho. One of the many people I normally come in contact with has praised me for the first time ever. I feel like a champion and that the whole world should stop to hear her words! That's right STOP spinning world! just stop. I'm about to quote.

"I've realized how happy I was to work with you."

Now for get the condescending and slightly offensive use of "realize" and take that in for a moment. That is nearly a prefect compliment.

After having my apartment compared to a dog kennel, this makes me feel much better. (I mean seriously Dog kennel? what does that make me?) woof. (as long as I am this dog...)



When I reach the states their will inevitably be an outpouring of stories and events that I had forgotten about, and remembered. be ready for a crap storm of emotion.

that is not a twixt bar...and other equally unfortunate tales.

I have several Amazing and utterly alternate reality stories to share with you. But due to laziness I will share only one. THE title has deceived you! ahahhah....eh? what else is new? When I have I ever accurately described an event???? don't answer that.

I blame the following event entirely on Izette. Yes I have named her. and for further identification look at the photo below.

Don't let the prettieness fool you....she is a havoc maker. The best kind of havoc maker....the deceivingly nice kind. BEWARE.

What happen you ask?

EAR Plugs in my mouth happened. Let's review.


I was dreaming innocently, when in my dream a very angry and irate Iz, refused to take my twixt candy bar, that I probably had shed blood and tears to earn. I remember the rejection and the self esteem blow as Izette took the bar and angrily placed it on the ground. (yeah... angrily placed. wow. she is vicious). I looked sadly at the discarded gooey goodness and crossed my arms at Izette's determined steps away from me. I felt like I was abandoned in a vast desert, only tumble weeds and howling wind to console my crushed ego.

So I naturally did the only thing I could think of that would make IZ feel my acute pain. I snatched up the candy bar and ate it. 


What happened next can only be described as both disgusting and mind-boggling. 

Upon putting the candy bar in my mouth I noted that my dream twixt was very un-twixt like. No gooey chocolate but a squishy texture that make sucking noises in my teeth. No caramel filling but a distinct taste of...what was that...oh ear wax.

these are not candy...

This is the moment I awoke to the horrifying truth. What I was chewing on was not a delightful twixt bar....but a runaway ear plug that had fallen out sometime during the course of my flailing about. AN EARPLUG and not a clean one!





I had grabbed the ear plug and put it in my mouth and was "NOMMING" on it. I instantly spit out the offending plug and ran to the bathroom where I gagged and brushed my teeth until the ear wax taste wasn't as offensive....


YES I could have died! the headline reading: SLEEPWALKER CHOKES ON AN EARPLUG

Again I blame IZ...had she only eaten my twixt I wouldn't have found my mouth full of ear wax....so unfortunate. 

IT'S 2013...And me the Mope---er

in other news my favorite actor  performed "GUNDAM STYLE" ON LIVE TV....UNACCEPTABLE.

Yeah so...While everyone was updating their facebooks and blogs with end of the year madness, meanwhile I preferred to think I was still in 2012. or actually in a continuous space where the year just spreads out like a long road. sounds...a bit like groundhogs day?


again for you uncultured souls....tsk tsk.

Why you ask? oh the laundry list is exhaustive. not really. I'm personally and profoundly in hate with New Years. I have never once cared about that ball and the droppage and the whole hoopla.  This has to do with the fact that I find it a nostalgic time which makes me wander around, arms dragging on the floor as a complete and utter MOPE ----R. Which is a word...apparently...there is no red underline..

I have given into the cat apocalypse....

To be honest. 2012 was a very difficult year for me.  One of the hardest I have ever experienced. Thankfully, God has been present or I might have jumped off a bridge. (you may take that literally, figuratively, with pb and j....whatever...hmmmmm peanut butter and jelly....peanut butter jelly....peanut butter jelly and baseball bat...)

But what am I truly THANKFUL for? God. A God who cares about my wakings and sleepings(yes that is not a word), and my sleepwalkings...etc.  Talking about faith may not appeal to the masses. but God is present.  I don't have a new years resolution....I have a prayer though. That all my friends, and family (and yes even my jpop celebs) would know God's love this year. 

I realize too as of the time it took me to write this and now that while I had a hard year so many other lovelies in my life have too, or are entering a hard situation. I  cannot say it enough. but the only thing we can do is rest in God's faithfulness. He is faithful. Even when we spin wildly out of control he has it in control. What a good thing to know.

To commemorate and feel the hopelessness of humanity's taste in dance I have made the following gif.

the death of a dino.

Breaking. It's a quiet thing.
swept into a sea of empty.


I feel like this blog at times resorts to gimmicks, and though I truly enjoy supplying everyone with lovely gifs and what I deem worthy anecdotes. Sometimes. I want to be serious with you.

I can't say that this post isn't a reflection or response to events of my life, because that would a complete denial of the truth.  And why not tell you a little bit of the truth? I believe I am in a minority on a certain view. Which is sad.
 How I view friendship. That's what I will write about today.

I think and believe Friends are forever.(I saw you roll your eyes!) Which seems to be an illogical assumption living in a climate like Korea where nothing is stable. I am the child who when she gave a friendship bracelet REALLY and truly believed in it. Seems to the cynical world a little like a fairytale. That we are crossing our fingers and wishing on some friendship star. And at times I feel the same.

Because sometimes you make friends out of pure need. I've done it. Sometimes you have to for the sake of your own sanity break or limit the time spent with certain people.  And when I encounter this....I feel so utterly WRONG. Even when I know a relationship is unhealthy, I cling.

So am I only wishing for something that is impossible?
no. We are made to be in relationship with one another. I view fights as fights but not endings. Problems can be worked through. I think that so many of the people I encounter have a different perspective. If we fight it's over? They seem to genuinely believe this. It's so different than how I operate.

I have a best friend. She is lovely. Even though I sometimes misuse her, she is my best friend for a reason. It's mutual, or we try our best to be. but even sometimes I take too much because I'm imperfect and at my core selfish.

I'm rambling all this off because I have some free time and this is actually an old and unfinished post.
So if you happen to think I'm talking about you. Silly billy. I probably am. lol. just kidding.

An unexpected Visitor....Meet Frank.

I called him "Frank"...this does not under any circumstances make him a pet. He was a plague, a disease,  an affliction, a personal tormentor, a living abomination,  much more than a nuisance, a symbol of the fall, and a nightmare inducer.

He was a huge, ninja-quick, Cockroach that I surrendered my kitchen to sometime last summer.


When I tell this story I expect you have your judgement prepared. That you think me a baby, a wimp, a pansy, and that I am wildly exaggerating the events that took place. To you I say calmly, "WHERE YOU THERE?! DID YOU WITNESS THE LIVING MOTHRA THAT ROAMED MY KITCHEN ! "

again....for the uncultured...


and No I know Mothra is not a cockroach, blog jerk...but if frank had a cousin! it would be him.

To CLARIFY FRANK is a cockroach....not a pet and not a moth.

ACT 1: THE DISCOVERY!
I walked in my kitchen on a typical night switched on the the light and saw something that made me do a double roundhouse flip out of my kitchen
. I slid the door shut with a firm slam, turned the light off again from the outside ( I was thinking "HIDE HIDE!")and DESPERATELY dialed my friends number. I think my phone has imprints from my abuse!
ME(screaming): MEAGAN!!!!!
Meagan: Faithy why are you breathing funny?
Me(cowering in the corner): Meagan there is the mother of all cockroaches on my kitchen cabinet!
Meagan: Faithy can you see him now?
Me(peaking through the glass door to get a visual): Nooo.....Meagan I'm scared.
Meagan(as talking to a child): Faithy you need to get a shoe.
Me (IN COMPLETE TERROR, mind spinning ): What do I do with this shoe??
Meagan: ....
Me: MEAGAN HE IS REALLY BIG! AND SCARY. HE MAY EAT ME!!!
Meagan(trying not to laugh): I know it is terrifying.
Me: Ok...ok...I'm going in.
I slowly opened the door to discover....NOTHING! Frank had vanished. I cautiously placed a toe in the kitchen...The phone was still adhered to my ear.
Meagan(alarmed at my silence): Faithy...
Me: He's not there.
Meagan: Aww good maybe he ran away...

IF ONLY.
I sighed and locked my kitchen after being talked down from searching for the invader.

Act 2: the HUNT "DEAR FRANK. Leave my apartment and die. love, faith."-facebook update

The first thing I did was CLEAN my entire kitchen. I mean dishes everywhere, and bleach. lots of bleach. I stocked up on traps. I prepared myself for war.

Frank would appear a the top of my cabinets finding himself a cozy crack to make a house. Sticking his antennae out in mockery of me.
I felt his pride. His joy in ruining the life of a civilian unaccustomed to fighting off monsters.
I couldn't reach him. I could only put traps and bait and wait. Oh the waiting....
There would be days when it seemed to be successful and then I would see him again. dashing under the microwave or slinking into the sink drain.

During this time...where I cooked and finished my meals quickly and throwing a white flag to FRANK to claim my apartment I posted updates on the turf war that consumed my life.

"Beyond frustrated....Frank must be a super bug  and you are probably just as annoyed as I am that this subject is still my status content. He moves to fast to kill and traps and raid doesn't work...good gravy. I'm at my wits end."

These statuses consumed my facebook for more than 2 weeks!
Causing many of you to CRY "USE A SLIPPER!"
 to which I responded...."NO REALLY?? and what happens when he takes my slipper and beats me with it!?" SERIOUSLY...no one had any idea what I was dealing with.

Frank was too FAST, TOO BIG FOR TRAPS....in fact my parents sent me traps to catch him with, and TOO SMART for bait...yeah. he was special. maybe governmental engineered. a tracking device for foreigners.

ACT 3: THE MADNESS ENDS- "Just sprayed bleach in Franks face."

When I finally had enough. I ended it. Frank decided to mock me once more and I took aim with a bleach bottle. Twice I hit him with the burning substance. He recoiled into his home. He had acquired 2 now. one at each end of the cabinet. It was like a very disgusting game of WACK A MOLE.




Again he went missing. And I watched with vigilance  Until Ina discovered him in the crack of my door  separating Frank from my living area and my bed.

Ina did what I was unable to do. And smashed him to pieces with her slipper. Now..Frank was barely moving, but I, having the fear of God set upon me dared not touch him.

I have seen no other Cockroach...but my fear has kept me alert and watchful.  Who knows what evil lurks in my kitchen, waiting to scare the living daily lights out of me.


Meet Frank...this is not him...but a much smaller version...the interwebs disappoint again.

I almost vomited in my search for a FRANK twin..
.and then had to be hospitalized for a period of time.

Someone had to make this...that someone was me.